There are times when I want to exert my will onto a situation in an effort to bring some sense to the situation.
But some situations are senseless. There is a lot of randomness in this world and attempting to contain it is generally an undertaking not worth taking on.
These are the times I need to pause to see the situation, not just look at it. "Are you looking or are you seeing?" is a common thought that passes through my mind when I become a little too emotionally involved with a situation.
A Story
There was a regular customer at one of my first jobs who would come in once or twice a week to making copies, send faxes, and other general business activities. They were a little prickly. Terse. Their job appeared fairly high-pressure which probably contributed to their attitude. Understandable.
One day they decided to order some envelopes with their return address printed on them. No frills, standard issue sort of stuff. They returned days later to pick them up, paid, and was out the door.
Rising action
On their next visit, they returned box-in-hand. "I would like a replacement," they said. They showed a sample of the remaining envelopes. Sure enough. They had been printed upside down. Totally our fault. I asked what happened to the other half of the envelopes, and they responded "I used them."
I began to explain the product had been used, so it can't be refunded. I understood the envelopes were printing in error, but they were apparently satisfactory enough to meet your business needs. This is like receiving the wrong order at a restaurant, eating the meal, then complaining about the accuracy of the order. This was someone looking for something for nothing.
I went on to create a second order, and explain the price of the new order. This was not satisfactory to them.
Conflict
This marked the beginning of my emotional involvement in the situation. This swelled from a forgettable customer service event to a karmic battle. Through my will alone would I restore order to this broken universe.
An exchange of logic occurred between myself and the customer. Each fighting for their respective outcomes โ for their respective halves of the universe. The exact price was never settled in that moment, but a new order was made.
Later in the day my manager arrived. I ran the whole story past them with the passion of a warrior.
With a chuckle and a half-raised brow, my manager replied, "just give 'em the envelopes."
Falling action
My warpaint evaporated in that moment. My bloody hand gently laid the half-eaten heart of my opponent on the ground. (Metaphorically, of course.)
What was I doing? My will/pride/ego becoming absorbed into a situation that didn't warrant it. It was a waste of energy โ not even productive energy โ destructive, combative energy.
Resolution
My manager's response was the correct one (for any number of reasons), and it quickly brought me back down to earth.
I think about this a lot when I find my ego swell and feel that righteous urge to restore balance. But balance exists without me. It flows. Better to move with it than try to wield it.